My first rasoi is completed without any drama but Mr YADUVANSHI didn't say anything and went office.
I also bath kunnu and we played a lot. Having a child bring lots of responsibility he wants me near him every second and I love to take this responsibility.
Mom came to me and said " beta today is your muh dikhai so get ready I'll handle my grandson don't worry"
( Muh dikhai is a ceremony where ladies will come to see the face of newly wed )
I decked in rajasthan dress which is looking beautiful with accessories.

I came downstairs,mom made me sit on sofa and covered my face by veil.
Ladies one by one came and saw my face and give me some money in form of sagun .
"Bahu ki height kam lag rahi h , rishta dekh kr nahi kiya kya " one of aunty said
" Sahi kaha jodi bani nahi " another lady spoked with so much bitterness
And other ladies also started commenting on my appearance
" Enough we love our daughter and not other girl is as suitable as her for my son
My son is lucky to have her
Now all of you can leave" choti ma said
Tears are continuously dripping ,my insecurities stirred which I badly want to vanished .
Maa and dadi approached me and said " don't take their useless talk to your heart, you are beautiful and cute " they tried to shoothing my inner turmoil
" And bhabhi yours and bhai's height difference is cute " veer said and winked at me
"Bhabhi i will send you 10 reason why men like their women height short " Vishal said and kept a beautiful flower on my lap .
I smiled at them " thank u so much , you all are the best " .
Mamma mamma ... kunnu tried to come to me from her dadi arms
I took him ,he looked at me and kissed my cheeks, keep his tiny hands on either side of my face and said " mamma " try to convey his most innocent thoughts
" Yes baby mamma knows " i said covering his face with lots of kisses.
" Beta call vardhan because you both needs to do a pooja (worship of God ) together." Maa said .
"Okay bhabhi we are also going you do your call with your husband" veer said and a pink tint covered my cheeks I tried my best to not show any emotions but failed miserably.
" Kunnu baby come to chachu I'll show you birds and your mamma needs to talk to your father so privacy is much needed" Vishal said and take away my baby.
I dialled his number,he picked up after many rings
" When are you coming everyone is waiting for you" i said immediately as he picked call.
He said don't disturb me ....such a workaholic man ,he didn't stay home on his first day of marriage but again it's not he is got married first time
Okay I'll not disturb him as he want.
" Beta did you called vardhan" dadi asked
" He is busy dadi " i said nothing showing ounce of sadness.
" Okay call one more time and say it's dadi order to come home immediately" she said and Went away for preparation of pooja .
I took a deep breath and called him again
" Why the hell are you calling me again don't you know I am working
Do hell with you and your ceremonies" he shouted at me at cut the call without hearing anything.
I flinched by Loud voice because it is really shocking to me ,how dare he can talk me like that. I'm certainly not tolerating this kind of behaviour.
I don't care about him and his behaviour.
But deep down in heart it's still hurt to get this kind of behaviour on first day of marriage.
" Am I that bad bhagwan ji " i murmured.
I calmed myself because there is no use of thinking about him.
I will not interfere with him ,he can enjoy as much as space he wants . with this determination I carried myself towards dadi to inform her that her beloved grandson is not coming .
After informing her I did the pooja alone with my baby
Everything is different here sometime I feel out of the place... anyway it is first day .
I decided take maternity leave from hospital I want to take care of baby ,he already missed his six months without her mother.
It's been a week since I came here and after his outburst I didn't talked to him ,not even looked at him
He didn't even say sorry to me ....but he did try to talk to me but I don't want to any conversation, he should apologise first and realise that he can't talk to me like that.
There are some changes in my body I can feel these changes
My feets swells and size of breast also increase a bit ,there is slight pain in them constantly .
I didn't tell about this to Mr YADUVANSHI because we didn't had any proper conversation.
It's 9 o clock but Mr YADUVANSHI didn't come home
I was reading something and feel wet on my breast i immediately went to Washroom to check and milk lactation started
This is overwhelming for me i literally cried feeling completed as I can feel the motherhood.
I went out from washroom and saw baby is playing with his toys
I sat on bed and saw many breastfeeding videos through Google because I don't know how to do it .
Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing, one of the most beautiful things that exist in nature. Think about how a woman can literally feed her baby with her body! In my eyes, this is a certain form of beauty, of divinity! To know that my body can not only form and bring another human being into the world, but that I can actually feed babies with my own milk from my own breasts- that puts me in a state of awe each time I think about it. It is an honour to be a woman.
My baby looked at me like I'm his whole world and I'll try to give him all happiness.
It's 10 but Mr YADUVANSHI still not came, to be honest I'm little bit worried now
And I heard whimper of kunnu and he cried a little it's his daily routine to be cranky this time usually mr yaduvanshi handle him and I knew it
I get up from bed and going towards kitchen to bring his milk
But why am I going to kitchen I thought and sat down, carried baby on my lap , honestly it's little weird but I know I can do it . Unbuttoning my shirt half, putting baby's head near breast ,he looked me with teary eyes and immediately latches. I can hear his sucking voice and it feels little painful because my body didn't went through nine months pregnancy phase .
People says it's natural instinct in baby to latch , they are right .
To be truthful it's not easy but seeing my baby smiling between sucking all pain are worth it.

It's not milk but love flowed from breast of every woman for her child.
I'm feeding him and door opened revealing mr yaduvanshi , i immediately put dupatta covering me and baby.
Shock will be small word ,not a single word
Came out from his mouth still.....
he averted his eyes not wanting me to get uncomfortable and sat on couch,I also turned , now my back is visible to him. After ten minutes i feel baby is asleep , I buttoned my shirt without disturbing his sleep.
Mr yaduvanshi approached me and said " doctor come in balcony right now"
He is fuming in anger,we both settled in balcony
" Doctor do you have another baby besides kunnu? "
"What? "
"Yes tell me " he again asked
"Mr yaduvanshi you know my condition i told you before marriage " i said
"Then how the hell you were feeding my baby " he said with accusative eyes
"Don't be silent tell me I'm running out of patience "
I can sense he doesn't trust me
He held my wrist and pulled towards him making me fell on his chest ,i tried to free my hand but he tighten his grip
"Leave me ...............Mr yaduvanshi you are hurting me " i said wriggling.
He loose his grip .He is close to me , i can hear his breath and his masculine scent hit my nostrils.
Gulping down my nervousness i told him everything.
His eyes softened,he took a deep breath and said
"Why didn't you tell me it is about my baby you should have discussed with me before doing this"
He said deeply making me shiver . How can he say that kunnu is my baby also or he didn't accept me as her mother.
Tears constantly falling from my eyes ,i don't want to show my emotions but failed to do .
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